What are breakdowns good for?

photo by WHL photos, Flikr

photo by WHL photos, Flikr

Howdy! I just realized I haven’t written a post for a whole month. Well, honestly, I wasn’t really inspired to write. And I made my own rules which is actually only one – THE RULE: “Do just what you are inspired about.” Not to look good, not to prove something, just to feel good. I have to FEEL GOOD. This is the only rule.

At the end of January I had a MASSIVE breakdown with my mother, which lead to that I was completly down, with no energy, with no lust to do anything. Only thing I was aware of, when I was crawling back to my usual energy level was, that the breakdown is good for something – you know, it always is. So in short – my mother is still telling me how to live (I guess all mothers want the best for their children) and she is doing that because she thinks that somewhere in the past she did something wrong when raising me up – so I turned out like this (real spiritual weirdo 😉 ). I am not married, I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have children, every few weeks I travel in London or somewhere else, I am telling her about the Law of Attraction and my self development findings ….so not really somebody who my mother expected me to be when I’ll grow up. And therefore she was pressing and pressing until I broke down…..

Oh yes, still I was blaming her, until I just remembered that people around us, our reallity is just MIRRORING back to us, what is going inside. We are 100% responsible for what we create! Oh boy – I was still beating myself up because I didn’t turned up as I supposed to ( you know that voice in your head – which doesn’t disapear – although you travel faaaaaaaaar away from home?). Ok. So – what to do?

First I saw that I have to create a boundary – that I have to love myself enough to not let ANYBODY – even my mother to cross that boundary. I was angry and sad because of our quarrels already before, but never really serious about saying NO. I was telling my self: “This is my mother after all….”  But if this would be my friend, you know s(he) wouldn’t be my friend any longer. So I said: “It doesn’t matter, my mother or not, I will not allow that anymore.” My decision was really serious, I was prepared to stop talking with her and completely stop visiting her. And when you are serious, other people simply just feel that (oh yes, they do). At some point during this breakdown I remembered an analogy with what is happening to me – for at least 10 years I was like woman who is living in abusive relationships and doesn’t have a power to end it and leave it.

This was – oh boy – didn’t feel good – to say NO to my mother – but it was essential for what happened later. We feel so much guilt and obligation towards our parents although I don’t know the real foundations for that. This is  what our society is telling us, this is expected! Yes they gave me my life and I am grateful for that. But we weren’t born to this world to live by the expectation of our parents, neither to take care for them or feeling guilty for what is happening to them.

Soooooooo, after two weeks of really no or some hostile communication with my mom, I left for London on the 11th of February. I said: “Ok, after all – my plane might fall down – so let’s tell mom that I am going, so she will not be surprised.” 😀 I told myself: ” I accept myself exactly as I am and as I am not and I accept my mother exactly as she is and she is not.” I threw away all expectations what this call might be like and I called her from let’s say – NOTHING, from ZERO point, from where ANYTHING is possible. ANYTHING means also something EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD.

After getting myself in such state of mind – I was blown away about how EXCEPTIONALLY AUTHENTIC this call was. How this call was upleveled from anything I knew before. My mother had a breakthrough and I had a breakthrough – she was telling me how she feels, I was telling her what I am feeling, where I am going, why I am going in London, that I am devoted to self-development and this is something what I am looking forward to make living from in the future. When we finished the call, she called me back and said: ” What I forgot to tell you is, that I really LOVE you.” I was moved, touched and inspired (you have to know that this isn’t something what my mother would say regularly, in fact I heard this in my adult years maybe twice, last one included). Although you know somewhere deep inside, that she loves you, it is so good to HEAR it. Ah, how good can things possibly become from now on?

Still I am determined, that I will not let anybody cross the boundaries I set anymore, even not my mother. I am my biggest fan, my biggest protector and my biggest lover – who else will be if not me? And you know – like attracts like 😉

I had fabulous time in London, met some new exciting people from Slovenia and tommorow we are meeting for dinner (now we are all back at home of course). And inspiration came back!

The intention of this post was to tell you that every breaktrough has its opposite side, which usually causes the breakthrough. It is called breakdown. So – whenever you have a breakdown, be suspicios, because there is something to learn from it.

CheerS! XO

Barbara

What is your word of the year?


word stones, adams schoolhouse, Flickr

The beginning of the year was really busy and successful in all areas. As every beginning of the year we are tempted to do New Year’s resolutions. We read about the resolutions everywhere. And every time I’ve thought of making a resolution I didn’t feel really inspired. I devoted quite some time thinking, why this is so. The way I did them in the past meant something finite, usually in form of huge, non-realistic goals. If I didn’t achieve them, I felt bad. And I don’t like feeling bad at all. Feeling bad can not manifest good things. You know that already. 🙂

Then I stumbled across the Cristine Kane blog, which suggests to find your word of the year. I sat down, closed my eyes and wait for few minutes. The word which came, was SURRENDER. And not in the sense to give up, but to SURRENDER TO LIFE, LET GO…..With that word in my mind I looked at each an every of my so called issues and see how with surrender I can let go of particular attachement, surrender to the current of life, unstuck my self, where I was stuck. I used my word of the year everytime I felt worrried, didn’t know what to do, when thinking too much about certain things, when afraid, what the next moment will bring…

After using my word of the year for a while the real New Year’s resolution appeared: LIVE TO YOUR FULL POTENTIAL. That striked me like somebody would give me an acceleration kick in the butt. 😀 What this would be like? Living to my full potential?

And you know what? The combination of SURRENDER and LIVE TO YOUR FULL POTENTIAL brought new painting, total clarity and concept for my business web page, taking a leadership role in a small group…..These are potentials which are lying in me, why not to use them, have fun creating new things and making a difference with them in the world?

And most of all, surrender meant letting go of the past, letting go of the future, living for the moment, expect every moment will bring something exciting, something I love. I trust in that and know it will be so. I am falling in love with my life, with me….. and it feels so damn GOOD!

What is your word of the year? Give it a try. It’s easy: sit down, close your eyes and wait. It will come. Let the word guide you through the year. What my word already did for me in this year, is huge! And looking forward to more!

For all who would like to explore more about the word of the year, the link to Christine Kane’s pdf worksheet is here.

I would really love to hear what is your word of the year. Please share your experience.

With love,

Barbara

Change your story, change your life

During the time we create many stories about different areas of our lives: relationships, money, our own abilities, our own worth, body, talents, life in general, other people etc. We’ve been and are influented by our parents, colleagues, media and society as such.

Let me list some stories I’ve heard lately from my friends, relatives, colleagues:

I am nobody. Those women are always picking up on me and they have something against me. My life has no meaning. Life is sad. I am afraid that…. I am concerned that…. They don’t appreciate me. They don’t see the real value of me. Who would ever pay for my services? I’m so bored. I am alone. I’m too old. The times will be even worse. Add your story: _______________________________________

 

There is plenty of similar stories going on in our heads. Maybe we are not even aware of them. Now look around. How do our lives look like? Not surprisingly, exactly in alignment with above stories, right? Universe is really kind and gives us everything that matches each and every our thought.

Do you ever ask yourself, what will you get in the future? According to The Law of Attraction – if we stick to old stories, more of the same. But we are so powerful, we are co – creators of life and all that is. Let take a stand and 100% responsibility for creation of our life. Let’s start changing our story!

What if above stories would sound like:

I am so unique and with my special set of skills I am as valuable as everybody else. I provide value just with that that I am. I create harmonius and peaceful relationship with myself and anybody I meet in my life. I know that my life is meaningful. Life is exciting and beautiful. I know this will work out good for everybody involved. I appreciate myself and others are mirroring the same appreciation back to me. I value myself and others value me just as I am. There are plenty people out there who need and are prepared to pay for my products and services. I’m really excited about developing existing projects and starting new ones. I am profoundly connected with everybody and everything in my life. At each age in my lifetime I am old just enough to get new experiences, to learn new things, to meet new people, to create whatever I want. At each point in time and in every moment I have a power to create my life and I accept full responsibility for what I create.

How do new stories feel compared to old ones? Great? Empowering? Create NEW, positive and better feeling stories for areas of your life where you feel the change would be welcomed. It is important, that you repeat new stories every day, as often as possible – only with the repetition the new thought will sit in and start changing your soroundings and life to better.

Now imagine that it is the year 2012 and you are telling how great the year 2011 was to your friend. Let your imagination fly and don’t stop yourself in any sense. What you really want in 2011? Write your story NOW!

To your success and to hearing about yours magical and miraculous year 2011!

 

Love , hughs and sparkles!

 

Barbara

 

 

 

You are amazing just the way you are!

I bet you enter many conversations in which people are pointing at themselves or others with: »I have to lose weight.« »I am too…that and too this.«» My this is too big and my that is too small.« Do you? Implicit to every such conversation is that »there is something wrong with me/you« – regardless you are a man or a woman.

Sure I was there too. Until lately, when I discovered, how judgmental I am, not just towards others – especially towards myself.

I have to do that and that… than I will be ok. I should be like that and that… than I might be ok. And although I could made every and each of shoulda, woulda, coulda, it continues like wicious cycle. I’m never ok.

Beating ourselves, because we are not like our friend, neigbour, coworker, father, mother, because we don’t have big titles, a lot of money, bodies as models featured in fashion magazines or whatever is your perception of success and looking good, doesn’t serve us well.

Comparing yourself with anybody other than yourself is counterproductive. You, your progress on your personal journey is the only thing that counts. Are you more confident today than you were two years ago? Is your self – respect today on higher level than it was decades ago? Are you earning more money than you did in the past? Have you better support net and closer relationships to your beloved as months ago? Are you better at articulating your feelings and needs today than two weeks ago?

If your answer to any of these questions is yes, than you HAVE to be proud. On yourself. A nice tap on the shoulder and congratulations.

This is the only thing it counts. And a way which brings you happiness.

Are you able to love your belly, your nose, your head with hair running away from it, your lovely rounded back, your O shaped legs, your scars, your »flaws«? When you’ll be able to embrace every and each part of you – physical and non – physical – with love, kindness and respect, the miracles in your life will start to unfold.

Love inside – love outside. Are you still looking for the love on all the wrong places?

I am telling you: »You are amazing just the way you are!«

Start loving yourself today – it is never to late… step by step – you will transform your life from inside out.

This lovely inspiration for today’s post goes to Bruno Mars’ song – which I hear on the radio quite often lately. Thank you for the kind reminder, Universe!

 

 

Rampage of appreciation for subcribers to my blog and to all that is

Dear subscribers to Kosmobarbara’s blog,  I want to tell you, that I appreciate every single one of you, who subscribed on receiving my latest »mind products«. It is really good to know that people from USA, UK, Sweden and my lovely home country Slovenia like to read, what I write. Woow! I didn’t expect to have so many subscribers – and you know, you keep me going! If my words inspire you just a little bit to make a step forward in your life or if you feel just a little bit better after reading my posts, my goal is achieved. The inspiration is mutual.

Today I would like to talk about the appreciation. It is really important that we appreciate the things we have in life. When we appreciate what is, the Universe brings more of good stuff. Don’t focus on bad, see what you can appreciate in your life:

  • YOU!
  • New clients, who want to work with me and see the value I’m bringing in their life
  • New possibilities to get money
  • Abudance of love flowing from inside out and vice versa
  • Warm house, which is my lovely home
  • A lot of kind people
  • A lot of great friends
  • A lot of dancing cheek to cheek
  • An abudance of fresh, drinkable water
  • An abudance of snow flakes and romantic feeling they add to
  • An abudance of good, well serving thoughts
  • Perfect health
  • Abudance of opportunities to learn
  • Abudance of opportunities to be kind and supportive
  • All the abudance, which is present in my life
  • My knee being strong enough to survive after a spectacular fall on Saturday (I think this was something similar to yours Tom ;))
  • Fresh air I am breathing
  • Delicious and healthy food I eat
  • My Beloved
  • Me, I appreciate ME, just as I am
  • At first sight » bad looking« things, which gave me the opportunity to learn a lessons I needed to learn
  • My life so far, the adventures, magic and miracles it will bring in the future

These are some of the things I appreciate in my life. Being appreciative, puts you in the high vibing mood. It feels good. It changes the perspective and brings more good. Manifesting good things from this state of mind and frequency is easy, everything is flowing to you.

You might ask – what to do with bad things? I can’t ignore that there are also not so good things in life. Accept them,  embrace them with love and make peace with it. Let it go. Don’t hang in there. As far as I can remember, each so called »bad« thing brought something good with it. Bad things help us to see what we don’t want. Knowing that we can design and create things we want. And manifest them. So the »bad« isn’t so bad at all. Or?

 

Thank you again for being here. I love you,

 

Barbara

 

Swearing is not nice but helps things let go

Yesterday I bumped with my back in the attick door. It was hurting like a hell and I admit at such times I am swearing like the one eyed pirate sailing the oceans (I saw that in the movies, don’t know if it is true :)). Although some might say, that talking like this is not appropriate for a nice lady as I am – I don’t care – swearing helps me let things go. In this case I was swering for a minute or even more, massaging my back and leaning on the door. Hey, it helped me that pain was bearable!

Also in  the world of deliberate creation, you have to let things go. I don’t like words like: have, must, should, because they imply kind of pressure and feeling of obligation. But as far I studied The Law Of Attraction, letting go is a must thing. 🙂

Being attached to the outcome, whatever that is: getting a raise,  a  job, new client, parking space, new friends, selling a house etc. shows to the Universe, that behind your “order” there is a fear of lack, fear that you’ll not get what you want. And The Universe matches that need behind not what you think you “think”. Attachment looks like you are thinking about that thing all the time and there is also a feeling of neediness present.

Just remember, when the things happen – when you release the attachment, when you forget (but not give up) about your cosmic order. Look back at your life and recall your manifestations. Getting money when you completely forgot about it, meeting a new love, when you just had fun in life without “seeking” for the one, getting parking lot – phew, exactly where you intented to find it and so on.

Let go, let go. Sometimes it helps if you simply f*** it!

If you have your own recipes for letting things go, please share them: I would love to have more tools in my manifesting tool box.

XO

p.s. Ah, the same goes for complaining – if it helps to let things go, just do it. (although I would be suspicious about your belief, when it is a constant complaint, but more on this topic next time).

It only matters that you feel good

Think for a moment: what is behind your every wish? Behind every desire?

  • To have a lot of money
  • To have a love of your life
  • To have a nice car
  • To travel around the world
  • To find a job
  • I want to have (insert your desire) ____________________ .

Imagine, how would you feel having the thing you desire. Happy? Peaceful? Accepted? Relaxed? It is something which feels good, right?


And Law of Attraction works like this: if you feel that you don’t have and you focus on lack of the thing you desire, you will get more of this (more lack). When you focus on the good feeling, which is basically the feeling you want to experience, when your desire comes through, you get more of this. And your desire will come true. The opposite is not possible.

Ehmm, what I am trying to say is: Feel good first and anything else will follow.

I am feeling good, when:

  • walking in the nature, especially woods
  • at the sea and other waters (sitting by the sea, sailing, windsurfing, picking nicely shaped and coloured stones, soaking in the water, listening to the sound of water moving)
  • listening to masterpiece music
  • singing
  • dancing
  • enjoying my friends company
  • playing with cats and dogs
  • reading a good book (oh yeah :))
  • discovering new places, new things
  • discussing ideas
  • wathing a good movie
  • doing nothing 😀
  • coaching
  • doing anything connected with fashion and art
  • snuggling in my comfy, warm bed
  • listening or watching to Ester Hicks/ Abraham teachings
  • enjoying the company of LOA savy people at Good Vibe University
  • watching the wild colours of the sky, when the day is turning in the night
  • feeling sun on my cheeks
  • of course kissing and huging 🙂

Each and every of this activities brings me in to the place, where I enjoy myself, I am me and forget about the time and space. They raise my energetic vibration, which is needed if I want to manifest high vibing things/people/events. This is my manifesting tool box. What is yours? Make a list and go ahead – doing what feels good.

I am putting my winter boots on, going out in the woods, get my body moving, and make trails in the snow. It feels good. 😉

XO

I said NO and I loved it!

Jorge Vidal: Woman with heart

How many times are you doing things because you think:

  1. It is appropriate.
  2. Other think it is appropriate.
  3. To please others.
  4. Because of social agreements ( for example: wanting a child, because this is socially required?).
  5. Other said to do it.
  6. You don’t know why…

 

And how many times are you doing things because:

  1. You really like it.
  2. You listen to Yourself.
  3. You can not resist not doing it.

 

The later is called inspired action. And sometimes inspired actions looks like saying: »No, I will not go to the party, beacuse I just don’t feel to.« Sometimes inspired action looks like taking a nap, getting our peace in solitude, listening to our favourite music or playing with our pet.

Start listening to your inner wisdom, to your inner voice, respecting your feelings and not walking all over them just because it is not appropriate (you might think so) to show that you are sad, angry, anxious and that you don’t agree with what was said.

I did this on Friday – I was invited on my friend’ s birthday party and was feeling like staying at home and having some peaceful evening with a book. I stood up for what I was really feeling and expressed it authentically (although they tried to convince me though ). Today I am so proud, that I did this. I respected my feelings. I got my peace and everybody is happy.

Before I discovered the Law of Attraction and power of Self-Love I would do anything to please others , because somewhere deeply inside I was afraid I will be perceived as not good enough, not worthy of love, bad and ugly.

The first person who has to respect Yourself is YOU. And once, you start respecting Yourself, others will follow. The relationship with Yourself is reflected in all your »outer« relationships.

Like attracts like.

 

XOXO

 

p.s. and voice on the radio was singing: »Girl, you are amazing just the way you are.«

 

Listen to your words

Scientists say that we think around 50.000 thoughts daily. Now, if we want to use the Law of Attraction in our advantage, we have to start observing our thoughts. Our minds are like a garden, we have to take care for it that it will be able to flourish.  Planting positive thoughts, watering and nourishing them, adding new thoughts which will support the firstly planted, removing stones, rocks and weed – that kind of work is required.

Believe that with planting good seeds in the shape of positive thoughts you will get a beautiful flower. We don’t put the seed in the soil and think “Ah, it will never come out.” Or?

It is very important, that we know, what is in our garden, what kind of thoughts are we thinking. Start observing, what are your thoughts and beliefs* about:

1. Life in general

2. People

3. Relationships

4. Money

5.  what ever you want to manifest in your life

It is possible, that some of our beliefs are like rocks in the soil, preventing the plant to come out….When we remove it, the planted positive thought has a chance to manifest.

And now you might say: “Yes, and how possibly can I observe 50.000 thoughts, which are daily racing through my head?”. It is true, this is impossible (or it is just my limiting belief 😉 ? ).

It helps, when we listen to what we are talking. This is the easiest way to notice, what  are we REALLY thinking about the certain area of our life. Words are our thoughts spoken out loudly. Friends can support us with giving feedback if they notice the belief which might not serve us as it should.

I’m listening carefully. When I am speaking with friends, parents, co-workers, people on the street. I give special attention to areas, which are not working in my life  – with the intention to remove those rocky beliefs which are preventing my wishes to manifest.

XOXO

* belief is nothing else than a prevailing thought about something or someone.

New reality transmission

Today at 11.11 p.m. and than 11 days in a row people will envision the world as it is supposed to be. Wake up and join, share with your friends! The group of physics is working on proving that conscious exists also outside of the body. We can envision the world as a place where everybody will be able to live the life of their dreams, the world of peace, connectedness and bliss!

So happy!!!

http://www.newrealitytransmission.com/

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